Last week our church did a corporate fast. Fasting is abstaining from eating. That’s where we get the word “breakfast” from. We fast all night and then in the morning we break our fast. A spiritual fast isn’t just about food though. You can do intermittent fasting to lose weight or for dietary reasons, or even just to save money on groceries. A spiritual fast is a lot more than just the physical aspect of what you are (or are not) eating. It’s humbling yourself before God. It’s taking (forcing) your focus away from your physical self and towards your spiritual self. It’s so easy to just give in to what you feel like at any given moment. Bored? Grab a snack. Angry? Better eat something so you’ll feel better. Sad? Definitely shove your feelings down and put some food on top. Intentionally denying yourself a yummy snack takes discipline and self control, especially in a society where instant gratification is the norm. We don’t want to wait, we don’t want to suffer, we want to move on our feelings immediately.
Several times during the week of our fast I walked past my desk and almost grabbed a Ghirardelli chocolate without thinking. I didn’t even have to be hungry to have the compulsion, it was like my brain stopped working and just went to autopilot. “Yummy snack, conveniently placed, must consume.” Every time it happened I thought about putting the chocolate somewhere out of site but I didn’t. I let it sit there, reminding me that I’m in control, not my chocolate loving lizard brain, and I could use that energy for something productive.
For the first time ever all three kids participated in the fast with us, and we all did the same one. We did the Daniel Fast. In the Bible (the book of Daniel oddly enough) the Babylonians conquer Jerusalem and the King took some of the royal and noble young men to train up as Babylonians. Daniel was one of those young men. The kind gave them rich food and wine to drink and educated them to enter royal service. To stay obedient to God’s law about what he could eat Daniel asked the chief of staff if he could not eat the rich food offered by the king and instead only consume vegetables and drink water. The chief of staff liked Daniel but was worried that the king would get mad when Daniel became weak and thin, so Daniel asked for a ten day trial period for him and his three friends, which the chief of staff agreed to. At the end of the ten days Daniel and his friends looked healthier and were stronger than the other men who had been eating and drinking the king’s food, so they were allowed to continue on just water and vegetables.
Because of their obedience God gave the four of them an unusual aptitude for learning and understanding, and Daniel was given the ability to interpret the meaning of visions and dreams. Once their three years of training were complete, all of the men were brought before the king where he spoke with them and chose the ones who would enter his royal service. Daniel and his three friends impressed him more than anyone and they served the king for a long time. Again and again God used Daniel and his friends to witness and minister to the people of Babylon- interpreting dreams and surviving things they shouldn’t like a fiery furnace and a den full of lions. The book of Daniel is actually crazy. I think my favorite part is when Daniel survives the lions and to punish the men who tried to get Daniel the king threw all of them AND their wives and children to the lions and “The lions leaped on them and tore them apart before they even hit the floor of the den.” The book ends with several chapters of Daniel’s prophetic dreams and it’s super trippy. But it’s astonishing how all of that started with Daniel being obedient in what he consumed.
The Daniel Fast is basically cutting out meats, sweets, and breads. Some people get real legalistic with it, checking labels and ingredients for any traces of wheat or sweeteners, but to me it becomes dietary at that point rather than a spiritual discipline. This year I wanted my whole family to do it together because I need to do better at planning meals and cooking together, so I leaned into that more than the “rules” of the fast. We had vegetable ramen, vegetable stir fry, sweet potato chili, and the most delicious Greek quinoa bowl. Lunch every day was vegetables and hummus. For breakfast the kids had cereal and I had yogurt. So not a strict Daniel Fast, but our focus was on doing it together and stepping outside of our comfort zones and trying new things. And as delicious as the food was we were all frequently hungry. Every “I’m hungry!” or “I’m bored!” turned into an opportunity to think about what we wanted for the future, what we wanted to accomplish, or doing something productive.
Personally I didn’t want to do any Bible reading or a devotional or anything like that. I’m still dealing with some anger and pride and to be completely transparent I was fasting as a way to bring my family closer together and not for any personal spiritual reasons. By Tuesday I decided I should at least do a devotional in the Bible app. I picked a three day one about worship thinking it would be quick and easy. I’d read the little paragraphs of whatever it was, read the Bible verse, and then could go on with my day. But when I started it it was HUGE and full of tasks and journaling and all this stuff I was actively avoiding. I clearly remember thinking, “Ugh, fine. I’ll just do it and get it over with. I should be writing more anyway.” I dove in and let me tell you… the Holy Spirit had been waiting for the opportunity to smack me upside the head. The devotional is called Altars and was written by Bristol House Music and each day is tied to one of their songs. I highly recommend doing it. Even if you don’t want to.
I keep trying to do things myself. I keep trying to fix things and be everything for everybody. I got so busy I let myself forget that I’m not in charge. I got so busy trying to be important (if I’m useful then people will want me around, but that’s a whole other conversation) I forgot that I’m not important. I am in fact nothing, and I can do nothing, except for what God made me to be and is doing through me. I need to just sit in that. I need to abide. To rest. To be still and know. I need to be consumed until everything I’m trying to be is ash. Most importantly I need to love. I don’t need to fix anything I just need to love.
